Why did the chicken cross the road?
Pat Buchanan:
To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American.
Louis Farrakhan:
The road, you will see, represents the black man. The chicken crossed
the "black man" in order to trample him and keep him down.
The Bible:
And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou
shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much
rejoicing.
Colonel Sanders:
I missed one?
L.A. Police Department:
Give us five minutes with the chicken and we'll find out.
Richard M. Nixon:
The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did not
cross the road. I don't know any chickens. I have never known any chickens.
Dr. Seuss:
Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes! The chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed, I've not been told!
Ernest Hemingway:
To die. In the rain.
Martin Luther King, Jr.:
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads
without having their motives called into question.
Grandpa:
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told
us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.
Aristotle:
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
Karl Marx:
It was an historical inevitability.
Saddam Hussein:
It was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were justified in dropping
50 tons of nerve gas on it.
Ronald Reagan:
What chicken? What road?
Captain James T. Kirk:
To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
Fox Mulder:
You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens
have to cross before you believe it?
Machiavelli:
The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why? The end
of crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was.
Freud:
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road
reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
Bill Gates:
I have just released Chicken Coop 98, which will not only cross roads,
but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook
and Explorer is an inextricable part of the operating system.
Einstein:
Did the chicken really cross the road or did you cross the road and it
now appears that it is the chicken who is on the other side? Or did the
earth move about its axis so that positions are now inverse whereby both the
chicken and the road have crossed each other?
Bill Clinton:
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. However, I did ask Vernon
Jordan to find the chicken a job in New York.
~anonym~