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A dog named Sex   

When I went to City Hall to renew my dog's license, I told the clerk I wanted a license for Sex.

He said, I'd like one, too!
Then I said, But this is a dog.

He said he didn't care what she looked like.
Then I said, I've had Sex since I was 9 years old.
He winked at me and said, You must have been quite a kid.

When I got married and went on my honeymoon, I took my dog with me. I told the clerk I wanted a room for my wife and me, and a special room for Sex.

He said, You don't need a special room for Sex. As long as you pay your bill, we don't care what you do.
I said, Look, you don't understand. Sex keeps me awake at night.
The clerk said, Funny I have the same problem.

Well, one day, I entered Sex in a contest, but before the competition began, the dog got loose and ran away.

Another contestant asked me why I was just standing there, looking disappointed. I told him I planned to have Sex in the contest. He said, Wonderful! If you sell tickets, you'll clean up!

Well, my wife and I decided to separate, so we went to court to fight for custody of the dog.

I said to the judge, I had Sex before I was married.
The judge said, This court is not a confessional.
Please stick to the facts.

Then I told him that after I was married, Sex left me.
He said, Me too.

Well, last night Sex ran away again, and I spent hours looking all over town for him. A cop came over to me and asked, What are you doing in this alley at 4 o'clock in the morning?

I said, I'm looking for Sex.

My case comes up on Friday.